He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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