So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
