WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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