i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
