Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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