I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
