listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
