What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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