The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My ass is underappreciated
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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