you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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