I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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