haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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