i need an iv and a liver transplant
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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