Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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