So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
