I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
