Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
