Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
