69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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