We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
