is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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