i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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