I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
