Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
