apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
