what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
