the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize