At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
