No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
