Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
BRING THE BAGELS
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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