He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
