hell yes lets make some ravioli
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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