This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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