What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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