well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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