Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
