I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize