Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
