i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My pussy is not your playground.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
