She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
