So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
