I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
