You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
