i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
