I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
