Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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