All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His hands were made for my vagina.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
