he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
