Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
