last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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