I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
