he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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