So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
