After last night, I could never be a politician.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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