hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
