our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
should my penis look like a turkey
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize