I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Shame - the story of my life.
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