i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
