its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
