Whoa Z and x make the same sound
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
