he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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