How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
