Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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