? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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