Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize