I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
